Daily Archives: Tuesday, May 29, 2018

#00007: Thank You Bolton Refuge For Becoming Stronger


Here’s my comment on Bolton Refuge House: They need more funding.

Once upon a time, at least several years ago by now, I attempted to reach out to this organization, twice.

The first time was after I learned someone near and dear to me was being physically abused by her then-boyfriend. I was looking for a safe place for her to stay, even though she did not live in the area. I was also looking to find resources to educate myself on how I could actually be of help to her during this time. I had one conversation with what I assume was an intern and learned that at this time no resources were currently available for either myself or my near and dear one.

The second time I reached out to them was to learn how I could do a fundraiser for them. Multiple messages were left, yet no response. I assume the lack of response was due to the limited resources of the organization at the time and the need to prioritize service to the women coming through the door.

I am pleased to learn that since my attempts to reach out all those years ago, the organization has added a donations button in the upper right corner of its new website, has become more inclusive, and has organized support groups.

Perhaps they always had these things. Either way they’ve made it much easier to participate and find support. I’m relieved to know that no one else will have to have the same experience I did and that we all now have a stronger ally in compassion and unconditional acceptance.

Thank you for becoming stronger Bolton Refuge. Your important work makes all the difference. xoxo

Learn more about Bolton Refuge.

#00006: Forgiving The Family’s Shadow (with audio!)

A few things to have ready before you listen to this audio recording: pen, paper, Kleenex

Once you hit the play button, close your eyes and just LISTEN. Soak it in. Trust that I’ll cue you when to use the pen and paper. You’ll have time. Kleenex as you wish.

Lastly, before we have a listen, you’ll note that this recording sat quiet for 4.5 years and is now the sixth blog post item on Get More Nourished.com rather than the first.

Okay, now you’re ready.

Go for play.

Sara Hefty, Age 32.

Our Facebook Group is here.

#00005: Meet The Carlsons a.k.a. My Childhood Family

I’ve been told I should write books – as in more than one – about my experiences with these folks.

Hefty Wedding - Carlson Family - July 28 2007

One day I imagine I will; they’re interesting and surprising.

You’ll see.

For now though we will do what I’ve been advised to do in the book Crucial Conversations, which is when emotions run high, start with the facts and present yourself from there.

Introductions then. From left to right we have my sister, Nikki, myself, my Dad (Mark) and my Mom (Jane).

Photography: [ V ] IMAGERY + DESIGN

Location: Lake Wissota Golf & Events

Flowers: Brent Douglas Flowers

Dresses: David’s Bridal

Hair: Estilo Salon

Date: July 28, 2007.

Sara Hefty, Age 25.

#00004: Two Quick Definitions of Sisu

Here I just wanted to introduce you to the idea of sisu.

Pronounced see-so or sis-oo, it’s tattooed there on my arm. In my maternal grandma’s handwriting. It’s the only tattoo I have – the artist said it would be like a 10-minute cat scratch. He was right. Leviticus Tattoo in Minneapolis, if you’re curious.

Sisu is a Finnish word that doesn’t have a direct translation in English.

I think of it as “strong willed one” and “strength of will, determination, perseverance against all odds” namely because those were the first written down definitions of it I ever saw.

Recently and wonderfully it’s become studied by positive psychology researchers and so the definition has expanded.

Regardless, my 100% Finnish Grandpa always said my 100% Polish Grandma had lots of sisu. Much more on that later. But for now, enjoy this new addition to your vocabulary.

Sara Hefty, Age 31.

Photography by Molly Marie Photography.

And here’s my non-professional real-life freshly-inked selfie from March 30, 2012:


#00003: The Truly Truest True Version of You

Meet Sara Hefty of Get More Nourished.com

Venice Beach, 2012.

Photograph by Wendy K. Yalom.

Inspiration from Carey Peters.

Styled by … I have forgotten her name but not her influence… or how I won her over… but that is a story for another time… like a time when I make the time to track down her name.

Dress, earrings and bangle borrowed from Spotlight Sister D.

Hair and makeup were done professionally by an amazing team out of a repurposed warehouse on the boardwalk.

Sara Hefty, age 31.

Carey once told me that she had a vision of me. This was during one of our coaching calls – she the coach, me the client. It was a phone session during a group coaching. And what she said to me is that she had a vision of waves washing over me and washing away all of the things that…

… I’m having a hard time recalling her exact words…


… washing away all of the junk and baggage around me… yet, I stood strong, firm, grounded and deeply-rooted to my truth, to my history, to myself.

In that vision, after the waves rolled out, I was standing strong, as myself.

Without baggage.

And that’s what this picture represents. Me. Becoming Myself.

Meet Sara Hefty of Get More Nourished.com

True, the clothes, the accessories, the lashes are not mine; however, it was my voice that day which brought us into the water. For that experience. For that real-life representation of a coach’s mind’s eye vision.

And that’s why this picture was taken. So I would have something to refer back to and consider and remember: That the possibility is always there to become myself. To be myself. In real life. In my daily life. Every day.

And it is for you as well.

Just sit with that for awhile.

The possibility is always there for you to become yourself.

The possibility IS always there for you to become yourself.

My coach could see something ahead for me that I could not see for myself.

And even though others had to style and provide for me. (The best clothes I brought to the shoot were pilling, dog-haired, threadbare. Representations of my baggage, if you will.) Others could see me as myself. And they wanted me to try to do the same. Not only did they want me to try to see me as myself… they supported me through every part of the “see-yourself-as-yourself” process. Photography and people can be magical like that. Or as damaging as they come. So choose your people – and your photographer – carefully.

That said, when you take someone whose been playing small in order to be accepted by others her entire life and then put her into an environment of unlimited support with encouragement of self-expression with no risk of loss of love, all of the sudden life becomes a very safe space. A space where you can be yourself. And be loved, and be seen and be empowered as the truly truest true version of you.

To the possibility of yourself.